


Trixie's Desires and Dilemmas

by dragonfly_moonlight



Series: The Way of Life [4]
Category: Mach GoGoGo | Speed Racer
Genre: Angst, F/M, Graphic Sex, Mental Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-10-10
Updated: 2010-10-10
Packaged: 2017-10-12 14:01:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/125618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonfly_moonlight/pseuds/dragonfly_moonlight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Speed isn't the only one finding someone new to spend time with. Trixie finds herself facing a situation she never thought would happen to her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trixie's Desires and Dilemmas

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Speed Racer, and I do not profit from writing this story. Walter Hyde is mine and is in no way based on anyone real.

_"Hey, Trixie, it's Speed. Sorry I missed you. You must have a lot going on right now. You never seem to be home when I call. Anyway, I'm just calling to wish you a happy and safe Halloween. I'll be entering a costume contest at work. My bosses say first place gets a cash prize and a medal, and that it'll be the customers voting on the best for the staff. Wish me luck, 'kay? I'll talk to you soon. Bye!"_

Trixie felt her cheeks flush a little as she played Speed's message, a cup of coffee in one hand. She stood in her kitchen, a pale pink bathrobe wrapped around her slightly aching body, and she could not help questioning her sanity.

At the time Speed obviously had called her, she had not been in her apartment. Rather, she was shopping with Walter Hyde, a man she had met during one of the bar crawls her Californian friends liked to do on Fridays and Saturdays. She and Walter had become quick friends that one night, and they exchanged phone numbers. He gave her someone to talk to when her other friends were not sure of how to handle her problems, and she saw Walter on a daily basis, like the previous day. Yesterday, they were trying to find some last minute items for their costumes and last minute deals on candy. Walter loved Halloween, and he was very generous in the amount of candy he liked to hand out to children. He claimed he wanted a family of his own, a large family of about six or seven children. Trixie thought he was crazy, but the man loved children. He was the third child out of eight from a nice Catholic family, and he worked as a registered nurse at a local children's hospital. Given his upbringing and where he worked, it only made sense to Trixie that he would want a large family. Walter possessed a very kind, a very generous, and a very loving soul, and Trixie knew she was spending a great deal of time with the man, more than what she probably should have been spending.

"You should call him back and ask how he did," a male voice commented. Trixie blinked to see Walter standing across her bar-style top counter from her, his violet-blue eyes sparkling. He wore only a pair of pajama pants, and his ruddy brown hair was a mess. The rest of him remained blissfully, sinfully, naked, and Trixie found herself blushing even more. "He might think you don't care."

"Maybe," she murmured, averting her gaze. "Maybe not."

"You won't know until you call him," Walter said. "Besides, I think he wants to hear from you. He did say to wish him luck for that contest."

"He probably won first place," Trixie replied. "He's a very good-looking guy. I'm sure the female patrons were practically drooling over him."

"You sound a bit jealous," Walter said. "I thought you two decided to be friends since you were in two different places for a while."

"We did," Trixie admitted. She sighed softly. "It's still a feeling I'm trying to get over, you know? We dated for so long, and other girls always found him attractive. It drove me nuts when they fawned over him and tried to make like I wasn't there."

"But he always knew you were there, and he still cares enough about you to call you. I really think you should return the favour and at least find out how he actually did," he pointed out. He leaned on the countertop, tilting his head. "Or is there another reason why you don't want to call him?"

"Why would you ask me that?" Trixie inquired.

"Because you're not looking me in the eyes," Walter said. "That's why. Are you regretting what we've been doing?"

"I don't want to hurt Speed," Trixie mumbled.

"That still doesn't answer my question, Trixie. Are you regretting what we did last night and the few other nights before that?" He paused yet again. "Are you regretting having sex with me?"

Trixie closed her eyes, the memories of the previous night entering her mind. She and Walter had kissed. Intensely. His kisses always burned Trixie, and she would become so heated that she could not keep her clothes on any longer. Last night had been no exception, and, once the candy was finally gone, she had peeled her sexy policewoman costume off as quickly as she could, Walter following her actions. It was always a rush to feel his skin against hers, and they ended up in bed with Walter on top of her, his manhood buried deep in her body and pulsing with a life of its own. He filled her completely, even though she fretted she was already pregnant by him. While Walter wanted children, she was not so sure she did. Trixie let out a soft sigh and shook her head.

"No," she replied. "I don't regret last night or any other night before that, and I think that's my problem right now. I don't regret those nights, and I'm afraid it'll devastate Speed when he finds out. And don't say he doesn't ever have to know, Walter. I can't lie to him about this, and I can't keep it a secret. I may not be able to keep it a secret."

"I wouldn't ask you to keep something like this from him," Walter said. Trixie heard him step towards her. "That would just be stupid, and, from what I've heard you say about him and his fighting abilities, I wouldn't want him to hunt me down and kick my ass for sleeping with you. But I'm curious about something, Trix."

"What's that?" She opened her eyes and lifted her head so she could gaze at Walter's face. She decided he, like Speed, had the prettiest eyes, and she could get lost in them over and over again. His eyes, and his body, were why she could never resist him when they kissed and touched. Why she felt like that, Trixie did not know.

"Well, if we did want to try and keep this a secret from your ex, which we're not even able to do, what do you mean by you may not be able to keep it a secret?" he asked. Trixie saw a variety of emotions playing across his finely chiseled face, the most dominant of those being concern and worry. She inhaled a deep breath.

"It means that we haven't been using any protection of any kind since we've started," Trixie replied. "I've been wanting to go on the pill, but I never seem to have any time to see a doctor. Neither of us has picked up any condoms or anything else like that. And, if we keep this up the way we have been, I'll end up pregnant if I'm not already."

"Which could end up putting the two of us into an interesting situation," Walter murmured. "And not only where Speed is concerned."

"If you're thinking I'd want an abortion if you got me pregnant, Walter, you'd be dead wrong," Trixie declared. "I couldn't do that. The people who do that for no good reason disgust me!"

"That's good to hear," Walter said, "but I can tell from the way you're talking that you'd be very disappointed your first baby would not be Speed's baby. Isn't that right?"

Trixie nodded hesitantly, which caused Walter to sigh. He then smiled a little and shrugged.

"Well, I guess if that's the case, I can see about helping you get an appointment with one of the doctors at the hospital. That is, if you're really still wanting to be with me," he said. "I don't think you should be on the pill because it can mess you up, but if it's what you want, I'll make it happen."

"You'd . . . do that?" Trixie asked, blinking her eyes. Walter's statement surprised her. They had talked about such things before so she knew he was not an advocate for any type of birth control, minus abstinence, and he was especially against abortion. He nodded.

"For you, yes," he answered. "Until then, I think I can handle using condoms. Let's just try to avoid anything with spermicidal lubricant in it, though."

"I thought the point of this was for me to avoid getting pregnant right now," Trixie said.

"It is," Walter replied. "But there's something in spermicidal lubricant that I'm allergic to. My boys break out into a rash and hives every time, and it's difficult to walk for a few days afterwards. I tried once with an ex-girlfriend. Not a pleasant feeling and not something I want to repeat."

"Oh . . . that makes sense," Trixie murmured. She then smiled at him. "Thank you. I appreciate what you're doing for me. I don't think most guys would be so mature like this. You really are a sweetheart."

Walter offered her a sad smile then slipped his arms around her waist to give her a hug. Trixie set her coffee mug down on the counter so she would not spill it on him, and she hugged him in return.

"I wish I could be selfish about this and feel like I've been insulted. I'd really love for you to have my kid," he said, "but I can't do that to you. I can't pretend to feel something I'm not feeling. I like you way too much for that, and I love every moment we spend with each other."

"I like you a lot, too," Trixie said. "Time spent with you helps me feel like my life is normal, even though I know that it really isn't. You're one of the greatest friends I could have ever hoped to find."

"Good. I'm glad to hear it," Walter murmured. "Now do me a favour and call Speed to ask him about that contest. He's probably wondering why you haven't called him back. I know I would if I were him."

"All right, all right," Trixie said, laughing a little. "I'll call him. He's probably awake by now."

"Thank you," Walter murmured, hugging her again. He kissed her cheek. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Where are you going?"

"After I get dressed?" He shrugged his shoulders. "There's a drugstore on the corner. I figure I'll pick up some condoms just in case and maybe a pregnancy test."

"Just in case?"

"Yes," he confirmed. "Just in case. It would be pointless to set up that appointment only to find you're already pregnant, wouldn't you agree?"

Walter let go of her and disappeared into the bedroom. He kept at least three changes of clothes in her apartment since she lived closer to the hospital where he worked than what he did, an arrangement they had made before their first sexual encounter. Trixie stared at her phone for a moment before picking it up and dialing Speed's number. She felt guilty once again, but the emotion was not as strong as it had been when she first listened to Speed's Halloween message.

'Besides,' she told herself as the phone rang. 'We're not boyfriend and girlfriend right now. We can see whomever we want and do whatever we want. I just hope he can forgive me someday.'

 _"Hello?"_

"Hey, Speed," Trixie said. "It's me. I just got your message. So . . . how did that contest go?"

* * *

"Hey there, gorgeous," Walter said. "How did he do in that contest? First place like you said?"

Trixie glanced up and smiled. Walter had just returned from his trip to the drugstore, a small brown paper bag in hand. She shook her head in answer to his inquiry.

"No," she replied. "He said he won second place. His boss, Victorea, won first place, but she gave him the cash prize, anyway. I guess there were more guys than girls in the bar last night."

"She must have worn one hell of a costume," Walter commented. He sat on the other end of the bar.

"He didn't say what she had dressed up as, only that she won," Trixie replied. "Everyone there was having a grand time."

"People in bars usually do," Walter said. "Especially on Halloween. Everyone has a grand time on Halloween. We certainly did."

"Yeah, we did," Trixie agreed. Walter tilted his head.

"Did something come up while you two were talking?" he asked, keeping his voice soft. Trixie shook her head.

After her conversation with Speed ended, she had been thinking about her situation with Walter and how they really could not keep their hands off of each other. Would they even remember to use the condoms when it came to sex? Her head always became muddled when he kissed her, and she was not so certain they would remember to use protection every time.

Then there was Walter's offer to help her obtain the pill. The fact he even offered still amazed Trixie, and she appreciated the thought. However, she was not certain if Walter had thought his suggestion through entirely. Did he really want to help her prevent a pregnancy that would result in a child for him? Walter said he would love to have a family. Did _she_ want to prevent a pregnancy caused by Walter? Initially, she had told Walter she wanted her first baby to be by Speed, but she was no longer certain of her answer any more, especially if her hunch about their third night happened to be correct. What would she do if she were already pregnant? She had already told Walter she would not abort if that happened, and she meant what she had said. Did it even really matter if Walter impregnated her? How would Speed react to her having another man's baby? How would she react if Speed ended up falling in love with someone else and having children with her? Trixie wanted Speed and Walter to be happy. Her emotions for both Walter and Speed left her in a very conflicting situation, one where someone would end up hurt no matter what she decided. She knew, in that moment, she needed to do the one thing that would change everything, and she could not believe how her mind and thoughts were changing.

"No," she answered. "Nothing came up. He said he was about to leave when I called. Said something about having to take a friend home."

"Is that why you look so . . . thoughtful? He was taking a friend home?"

"If you're wondering if I think this friend is a girl, yes, I think it was a girl," Trixie answered. "In fact, I know there was a girl there because I heard her giggling about something in the background. She sounded like she was talking to someone other than Speed. However, if you think I'm beating myself up or working myself into a jealous rage, I'm not doing any such thing. I've just been thinking."

"I see," Walter murmured. "May I ask what you're thinking about?"

"I've been thinking I should really take that pregnancy test," Trixie said.

"Right now? That may not be a good idea, Trix," Walter said.

"And why not?"

"Because we slept together last night," he pointed out. "You run the risk of a false positive. Wait a few days, okay?"

"And if we want to sleep together in the meantime?" Trixie asked. "What then?"

"We use the condoms," Walter answered. "That's what we do."

"We may not remember to use them," Trixie said.

"We'll remember, Trixie. I promise."

"Don't make a promise you can't keep, Walter."

"But I can keep it," he said. "It's just a matter of placing the condoms where we'll see them when we want to have sex. Just let me know what day you want to take the test so I can refrain from loving you up ahead of time. I don't want you thinking you're pregnant when you may not be. Okay?"

Trixie wanted to argue the point, but she realized she could not do so. Walter had just made a valid point about the test, and she, too, did not want to think she was expecting a child when it was not true. She nodded, relenting.

"Okay," she said. "That sounds good to me."

"All right," he murmured. He opened the bag and pulled out the box of condoms. "Now that I've said that, I may as well get it done. Never know when I may want to kiss you again."

"Never know when I may want to kiss _you_ again," Trixie said, smiling a little. Walter caught it, and he smiled as well. He quickly opened the box, grabbing a couple of condoms before returning the package to the bag.

"I'll just go and put these in the bedroom. You know. Just in case something should come up," he said. "I'll be right back."

Walter pushed himself away from the counter, condoms in hand, and walked towards the bedroom. Trixie watched him and let out a lustful sigh.

Walter possessed the type of body most girls found very sexy and very attractive. His chest was smooth yet muscular, his abdomen was almost as hard as a rock, and his butt never looked bad in jeans or the scrubs he was required to wear. Since their sexual relationship had started, Trixie also knew of Walter's endowments and how it felt to be inside of her. She wanted him again, much to her chagrin, and Trixie quickly left her spot to follow him into the bedroom. Walter was just setting the condoms on the night side table when she entered.

"Finally getting dressed?" he asked.

"I will in a bit," she replied. "That's a good place for them."

"We'll see them," Water said, turning to face her. "That's the important thing."

"It is," she agreed. A second or two later, they were an inch apart, staring into each other's eyes. Their lips touched in a tender kiss, and Trixie slid one arm around Walter's neck. Already, her body ached for what only he seemed able to give her, and she used her other hand to undo the button and zipper of his pants.

A low moan escaped Walter, and he deepened their kiss. Trixie felt a tug on the belt of her bathroom, the material loosening until her breasts and bosom were exposed to the cool air of the room. Walter slipped his left arm around her waist while the other traveled from her hip to her breast, eliciting a soft moan and whimper from Trixie. He broke their kiss, his lips never straying far from her flesh, and he placed tiny kisses along her jaw, his destination her ear.

Once he reached her ear, he enveloped the lobe, nibbling and suckling. Trixie felt her thoughts becoming fuzzy, lighter, as she slipped her hand into his boxers and around his semi-erect penis. The organ throbbed in her hand as she grasped it at the base, massaging his manhood gently to the tip, and his penis hardened under her touch.

At the same time Trixie fondled Walter's cock, his fingers were teasing her nipple, and his mouth was working along her neck. The nub hardened with each little stroke, and Trixie could not keep from moaning out her desire, her head tipping back. Walter moved his feet, leading her towards her waterbed. Together, they crawled under the covers, Trixie nudging his pants and boxers down as best she could with only one hand.

When his pants started to drop, Walter took the opportunity to kick off his shoes and remove the rest of his clothing. Trixie's robe soon followed his pile of clothing on the floor, and their bodies were pressed close, Walter's cock nestled against her vagina. His hands grasped her butt cheeks, and their hips rocked together in anticipation of what was to come next. Their bodies were tight from the sexual tension in the air and from the frenzied state into which they were working each other. Walter latched onto her breast, the mound nearly filling his mouth, and Trixie sighed in ecstasy. It was bliss, she decided. His tongue swirled around her nipple as he suckled her, and Trixie murmured incoherent words of encouragement.

Then Walter pulled away from her, causing Trixie to moan in frustration. She wanted him, needed him, and now he was leaving her. A second later, she discovered it was not the case. She watched as he reached for one of the condoms, ripped the package open, and rolled the glove onto his penis. In the time it took her to draw two breaths, Walter lay stretched over her, his steel-hard and swollen cock driving deep into her. Her body yielded to his determined strength, but something about this encounter did not feel right. It was when Walter started to stroke her insides that Trixie realized what was off. In that moment, she no longer cared about getting pregnant. Somehow, she already knew it had happened, and there was nothing anyone could do to change it. She did not want to change it. She loved the man who was sharing her bed with her. She had been worrying over nothing.

"Walter, baby," she breathed. "Stop."

"I can't," he whimpered. "I've got . . ."

"I know, baby," Trixie soothed, "and you will, but stop for just one moment. Please."

Reluctantly, he complied, groaning in the process. She carefully pushed him out and wrapped her hands around his cock, unrolling the condom from the appendage and tossing it away. Walter gazed in confusion and worry at her, which Trixie smiled in reassurance and kissed him.

"Trixie . . ." he murmured.

"It's all right, baby," she whispered in between kisses. "It's all right. I want to keep it the way it is. Doesn't matter what happens afterwards. Just fill me like you always do."

Trixie did not need to tell him twice. Walter pushed the head of his cock into her opening, and he slowly filled her to the hilt, his fluids mingling with hers. Once his balls touched her buttocks, Walter resumed his previous action of stroking her insides. The feel of his cock sliding in and out of her sent wave after wave of pleasure coursing through Trixie's body, and stars danced in her line of vision. The bed rose up and down as Walter worked his way from a gentle and relaxed thrusting pace into that of a man on a mission. Their bodies were soon covered in sweat, and their moans and heavy breathing broke the silence of the room. Walter held on to her tight, striving to do as she had requested and pounding into her body with his manhood. His essence, hot and soothing, filled her as he reached his release, both moaning low and with great satisfaction.

As their breathing calmed, Walter kissed her. He withdrew as well and settled to one side. His hands never strayed from her body, however, and it suited Trixie fine.

"Change your mind?" he asked.

"About what?"

"About getting pregnant by me," Walter murmured. "Earlier, you were worried about it and said you wanted your first kid to be by Speed. What changed?"

Trixie shrugged.

"Quite honestly, I didn't like how that condom felt on you," she replied. "And I'm not entirely sure it matters if we try to prevent a pregnancy now."

"I'm not sure I get it," he said, frowning.

"I'm saying I need to make up my mind and stop confusing you," Trixie murmured. She reached over and started caressing his cheek. "It means I like what I've got with you, even though it confuses me and scares me, and I don't want us to change a thing. The condom confirmed it for me."

"What brought this on?" Walter asked, his tone soft.

"After I hung up with Speed, I got to thinking about things, and I was asking myself if it mattered who really was the father of my first child," Trixie replied. "I also couldn't help but wonder if you had really considered helping me to get on the pill. I know you're against it because of your upbringing."

"I believe in God's will and not stopping the laws of nature that he's set before us," Walter murmured. "However, I don't believe in telling a woman she has to get pregnant when she doesn't want a child. My older brother tried that once several years ago. He refused to wear condoms because she couldn't get on the pill right away, and he threw a fit when she even mentioned birth control. His ex promptly went out and got an abortion once she found out she was pregnant."

"That's terrible!" Trixie exclaimed.

"Yes and no," Walter murmured. "This happened when we were still in high school. He was seventeen, and she was sixteen. What he did could have counted as statutory rape, and it didn't help her parents had really big plans for her once she graduated high school. Having a kid before she was eighteen was not something they had in mind. Anyway, it's because of him that I suggested I help you with in setting up the appointment. I don't want us to end up in a situation we're both going to regret. That's why I also went to the drugstore to get us some condoms in the meantime."

"And then I told you to take it off," Trixie said, giggling a little.

"Well, if you didn't like how it felt, who am I to argue?" Walter replied. "I just would have thought you'd endure if you didn't want to get pregnant right now."

"As I said, I'm not entirely sure if matters right now or not," Trixie murmured. "And I'm also not sure if it matters who fathers my first child."

"Trix, honey, I can understand you wanting Speed to father your first child. He was your first boyfriend and your first love."

"And you were the first guy I had sex with," Trixie pointed out. "You and Speed both make me feel good about myself in many, many wonderful ways. Both of you are smart, handsome, strong, and you would both make great fathers. I've never met two men who cared about children as much as you and Speed do. I mean, I know if I get pregnant, things will change drastically, but . . ."

"Your life already changed the night we slept together and every night after that," Walter finished for her. "Correct?"

"Yeah. And I'm the one who has to live with whatever happens next."

"Like accidentally getting pregnant?" he offered.

"Exactly," Trixie confirmed. She smiled. "Though, I guess in your mind, nothing is by accident, right? Things happen for a reason?"

"Yes," he murmured. "Things happen for a reason . . ." His hand caressed her abdomen. "Do you remember our third night together? That night when the moon was unusually bright?"

"Mm-hmm," Trixie nodded. "I do. Why?"

"That night, it felt strange to me," Walter said. "I really don't know how else to describe it, except that, while we were having sex, I got this feeling that you were gonna end up pregnant from that night. I know it sounds strange and stupid, but I really thought and felt that. I don't know why. Maybe it's just wishful thinking on my part."

"I think you described it just fine," Trixie murmured, feeling a slight chill run along her spine. She knew exactly what Walter was describing. She, too, had sensed something very similar, if not identical. Walter tilted his head, his eyes meeting hers.

"What are you thinking?"

"That I really need to take that pregnancy test," she replied. "And soon."

'Because my life is about to change again . . . only this time, I'm looking forward to it.'


End file.
